#marriedlife

"Has marriage changed you?" Does a person change after they get married? Will they? Should they? 

Way before Le Hulk Hubster and I decided to get married, when I told my friends that I was going to get married.. Most of them replied me. "Yup, mark my words.. Clare is going to be a changed person when she is married!" And I often replied them. No.. I told myself and them I will never change even when I'm married. I will still be me. I will still be carefree and easy going, fun and bubbly. I will never change. 

Boy, was I ever so wrong! 

Le Hulk Hubster and I have been together for the past 10 years. 6 years of courtship, 2 years engagement and 2 years married life. At the age of 18, I met Le Hulk Hubster. Yes! At that young age. 

Of course, at that young age.. We have never talked about marriage. We were just there for each other. Enjoying each others company. The typical boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. And mind you, Le Hulk Hubster was an annoying specimen to me back then. But even then when I was in a relationship with him, I was me. So carefree, so 'young', so not bothered about the future. 

I was able to go out with my friends till late night, and he wouldn't fuss. Well then again, the every hour phone call to check where I was.. So annoying. And the "who are you going out with?" questions. 

My friends often teased me. Each time my phone rang, they knew it was my then "boyfriend" checking on me. They would imitate Le Hulk Hubster's "Where are you?", "Who are you with?", "What time are you going home?" Just to tease me. 

In our relationship, there was a lot of give and take. And both he and I respected each other. And still continued to love each and other. So I kept telling myself, no way will I ever change. 

When my grandfather had a stroke, that was one of my hardest time in life. I was going through a dark phase. Confused, lost and not knowing what to do.. I was literally not myself. In front of my friends, I was me.. But I wore a mask often. And the only 1 person who knew what I was feeling deep down inside was Le Hulk Hubster.

He was there for me till both my grandparents passed. He was there for me when I was diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar disorder. He was there.

And that was the time I realised.. This man is never going to leave me.

Even so, with that in mind.. I kept telling myself. Nope.. I'm never gonna change.

Often in every relationship, we females expect to be showered with love, expensive gifts and just being spoiled by our man. That we tend to forget, the importance of being in a relationship.

But this man. This wonderful man right here showed me what love is all about. And that was when we realised.. We were meant for each other.

That being said, I again kept telling myself.. This is NOT going to change me.

Whenever I had a 'yum cha' session with my friends, they would ask me.. "You sure about marrying him?", "You sure you want to get married?" I replied without hesitation. "YES" and of course, they would still tease me. Saying how after being married I will become that housewife person. I will change.

Especially my girlfriends. They would often remind me how when I'm married I can no longer get free drinks when I'm at the bar, or "wash my eyes". My girlfriends were often worried that I would change and become a different person.

Well..

I won't lie. Yes, marriage has changed me.

Because now, I am a wife. I am a cleaner, a maid, a cook, a supporter, a motivational advisor.. Mostly a wife. And I could not have been happier.

BUT! I am still me.

Whenever I do anything, I go anywhere. It's no longer a me thing.. It's an 'us' thing. Everything we did, we did it together. We did it for each other.

Everything in life that happened to one of us, we no longer go through it alone. But we are there for each other and help support each other.

That being said, yes marriage changed me, as much as I want to say it hasn't. It has.

No one ever said being in a relationship or being married is an easy thing. Of course there are a lot of ups and downs. But knowing you have a sidekick, a partner in crime.. A pillar of strength to hold you and go through it all with you.. That to me is enough.

I won't tell you to look for Prince Charming, I would tell you to stop looking because sometimes, that special someone is standing right in front of you without you realising it.

No, don't change your own personality. That should always remain. Because he fell in love with you for a reason, he chose to marry you for you.. But keep in mind. Once you are married the only change is there is no longer an 'i' but an 'us' in everything you do.

Yes, marriage will change you. But for the better. Trust me. #noregrets